How to deal with bullies... | advice post

Hello fellow bloggers! 

So I was out having a bit of fresh air the other day and I was trying to think of ideas on what to do for a blog post and it suddenly occurred to me that I had a request for "How to deal with bullies" ages ago that I totally forgot about so I thought I'd do a blog post about it now for you all. 

Now throughout your school years, at some point you may get bullied like I got bullied between year 7 and year 9 so around 3 years and now again I get some crap but it's all been dealt with for now and things have been sorted. Being bullied changed me a lot as a person and I think that it's changed me for the better and for the worse. The good being that a found a whole new group of friends that accept me for who I am and the bad being that I am very self concious, I have very bad anxiety, I've fallen into depression and a whole lot of other things. The whole time I was being bullied I turned to things like self harm and the scars are now just there as a reminder of all the bad memories.

Bullying can effect so many people and three quarters of all children and teenagers say that they have either been bullied or teased before. Being bullied can make you feel bad, angry and upset which then leads to you dealing with the stress of it all and feeling sick etc. Bullying makes pretty much 99% of all victims not want to go to school and it shouldn't be that way at all. I know it's hard to keep focused on your school work when you're worried about how you're going to deal with the bullying later on in the day for example. Bullying bothers everyone - not just the person getting picked on, bullying can make a school a place of fear and lead to more stress on everyone.

Most bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When a bully picks on someone else it makes them feel like they have power and makes them feel big- and we all know that's defiantly not the case.

Some bullies come from troubled backgrounds- for example where their families are always shouting and violent so they feel they have to come into school and take it out on someone else. Or they might just think that being angry, violent, calling people names and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying others, in some cases people bully other people because of peer pressure off of another bully. Some have also been bullied themselves and like to take their anger out on others. 

Bullies often pick on someone they know they have power over. So show them they don't have power over you! Make sure you don't show them your weaknesses because they may tend to use that against you, it's okay to let out a cry every once in a while though if everything gets too much, because remember- people cry not because they're weak, it's because they've been strong for too long. 

Dont give the bully a chance. Avoid them as much as you can, it may look like your scared but just prevent a run-in with him or her. Stand tall and be brave. When your scared of someone or feeling anxious you're probably not feeling your bravest so just stand tall and that will send out the message of "don't mess with me", it is easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself.

Feel good about YOU. Nobody's perfect, but try and do something to make you feel better about yourself. Maybe you'd like to take up a sport and become more active. My advice is just take up a distraction that you will enjoy and that will take your mind off of things.

If the bully does say something to you; Ignore them or either stand up for yourself but don't bully back, don't show your feelings and tell an adult or someone you trust- a friend, a relative etc. 

In the end most bullies end up in trouble. If they keep acting like they do, sooner or later they will have no friends left and the power they wanted will just slip away very quickly. Just remember eventually everyone will move on and leave the bullies behind. 

Hope this helps you out guys!

Jemma x